Snorkitis is Nothing to Sneeze At/Transcript

(The scene opens to Allstar, Casey, and Tooter playing snorkball)

Allstar: Snorks up, guys! here comes an aqua-lateral pass! *blows ball with snork*

Casey: I got it! *bumps into Tooter* I mean, I had it.

Allstar: Oh great, there goes our new snorkball. *it hits track* Right in the path pf that clam track train. 

Tooter: *zooms it back into his snork*

Casey: Save your breath, Tooter, you saved the ball.

Tooter: *toots a thank you to her*

Allstar: Thanks, Tooter, now let's go pick up Dimmy. 

(Go to his house)

Casey: He said he's be waiting out front.

Dimmy: *shows up sick* Hi, guys.

Casey: Dimmy, you look awful.

Dimmy: I feel worse. *sneezes and boucness around until Occy stops him to give him a tissue* Thanks, Occy. 

Allstar: Gee, Dimmy, that's the worst snork cold I've ever ehard.

Casey: You should be home in bed. 

Mr. Finster: Dimmy, you should be back in bed. *sneezes* 

Mrs. Finster: Dimmy will be able to play tomorrow. *sneezes*

Dimmy: Yeah, Doc Salt said it's just a mild case of twenty-four hour snorkitis. 

Allstar: Snorkitis? Uncle Gallio's been working on that for years. 

(At Gallio's lab...)

Gallio: Snorkitis? Did you say snorkitis? Are you absolutely certain, Allstar?

Allstar: Yes, Uncle Gallio. That's what Dimmy said.

Gallio: *pulls out picture* Was he snork all pink, like this?

Tooter: *toots it was only through his snork*

Gallio: Did he sound like this? *caughs for him*

Tooter: *does a different cough* 

Casey: And he had terible sneezing fits. 

Tooter: *sneezes and boucnes around for him*

Casey: Like that.

(Tooter bounces around some more)

Allstar: Enough is enough, Tooter, you stop imitating Dimmy right now.

Gallio: This is no imitation! This is a sick snork with acute snorkitis!

Casey: Oh, but Dimmy said his case was mild.

Gallio: Mild, schmild! Streptycoccyl snorkitis is incredibly contagious - anyone can catch it!

(Occy swims away from him)

Allstar: Suffering seashells, if snorkitis spreads this fast -- 

Casey: -- we might have a real epidemic on our hands.

Gallio: Why do you think I've been working on the cure for twenty years? Thank your lucky starfishes, I'm only a day away from the solution.

Casey: Well, it's a good thing your Uncle Gallio is only one day away from the cure. 

Allstar: Uh, guys, I think you should know, Uncle Gallio's been only one day away from the cure for the last twenty years. 

(Gallio's up at night, starting to feel miserable, still working on the cure)

Gallio: At last, now I hold in my hands, the cure for snorkitis. One drop of air will do it. *red bubbles come out* No, it should work, it must work. No, no, still doesn't work. 

(Rooster fish hollers)

Gallio: Yes, the adjustment to the air must be the answer. Maybe, this time it'll work. *still some red bubbles* Ugh, same old round red bubbles. I can't give up, but I've wasted enough time. *leaves lab all miserable and feeling ill* The Governor msut decalre a state of emergency. I'm so weak. 

Allstar: *swims over to him* Uncle Gallio!

Gallio: Allstar, I must see the Governor at once. 

Allstar: Anything you say, Uncle Gallio, but you look so weak. We'll need a ride. Taxi!

Taxi driver: Forget it, guys. I'm off duty. My wife's home sick with the flu, I'm going home. 

Allstar: I know, we'll take the eel-evated train. *go there* Here's the fourteenth reef station. 

Conductor: Sorry, gents, the last train left ten minutes ago. 

Allstar: But there's one every twenty minutes, right?

Conductor: Wrong, not when half the conductors are out sick. 

Allstar: Officer, officer, we need to see the governor at once.

Officer: Well I was going home, I feel awful, but if it's urgent, well, hope aboard. 

(At the Governor's...)

Governor Wetworth: What? A quarantine? Make everybody stay home for having a common snork cold? No, absolutely out of the question. 

Gallio: But Governor, it's not the common snork cold. It's acute streptycoccyl snorkitis. The quarantine will give us time to find the cure. 

Dr. Salt: Typical alarmist's nonsense. The common snork cold needs no cure, and it sneezes itself out in twenty-four hours. 

Governor Wetworth: Dr. Salt is Director of Health, appointed by me, of course, and what he says goes.

Junior: Yeah, what my dad says goes, so get lost, Allstar! You're up past your bedtime!

Governor Wetworth: And your uncle looks like he could use a good night's sleep himself. 

Gallio: You're all making a big mistake.

Allstar: Uncle Gallio!

Dr. Salt: I'll call the paramollusks.

Allstar: Where are you sending him?

(Gallio's being taken away)

Dr. Salt: He's going to Restful Reef for a week or so. 

Gallio: Too long - snorkitis victims may suffer permanent snork damage. Allstar, you msut keep working on the cure, before it's too late. 


(Roosterfish rings and Nurse Rockbottom takes a hold of him)

Nurse Rockbottom: Cork your squack, buster, this is a quiet zone! Morning, I'm Nurse Rockbottom, Seapervisor of Restful Reef.

Gallio: Restful Reef? But I don't need a rest. *tries leaving but she stops him* I need to find the cure for snorkitis.

Nurse Rockbottom: Sure, sure, sure, but Snorkland's in good hands with Governor Wetworth and Dr. Salt in charge!

Gallio: That's exactly what worries me.

Nurse Rockbottom: Stop worrying, go to sleep! Rest! RELAX!

(George Kelp stands outside the door)

George Kelp: Better hurry, Casey, you're going to be late for school. And my morning paper is two hours late already! *it hits him in the face* Hey!

Paperboy: Geez, sorry. 

George Kelp: Hey, you're not the regular papersnork.

Paperboy: No, he's sick in bed, and I don't feel so good myself. 

Casey: *swims out* See you later, dad.

George Kelp: Suffering seahorses, this is yesterday's paper!

(Allstar swims to her)

Casey: Oh, it's jsut like what Dr. Gallio said. Everyone's getting sick. Oh, I hope he's still working on his cure. 

Allstar: That's just it, Casey, he can't. He's been sent away for a rest, so, finding a cure is up to me.

Casey: You mean, it's up to us.

(Both of them are at Gallio's lab)

Allstar: Oh, the rotten luck! I'm getting knots in my snork trying to figure out my uncle's writing. 

Casey: Well, it's a start, Allstar. I mean, you can't expect to find the cure in a day. 

Allstar: If only I could talk to Gallio, he'd help me read these notes. 

Casey: Yeah, too bad it's not Tuesday or Saturday, you could visit. 

Allstar: Casey, you've given me a starbright idea. 

Casey: I have?

(Back at Restful Reef)

Nurse Rockbottom: Lights out, Gallio!

Gallio: *takes out the cure* It's now or never.

Nurse Rockbottom: Naughty naughty, caught you red handed, and this isn't restful!

Gallio: But you don't understand what's at stake!

Nurse Rockbottom: I do, it's Restful Reef's reputation! 

Gallio: Oh, what's the use? The formula's a failure anyway. Maybe I should jsut give up, lay back, and relax. 

Nurse Rockbottom: Now you're talking, relax! RELAX! *knock on door* Hey, this is a quiet zone, I'm coming!

(Casey and Allstar come in disguised)

Casey: This snork is exhausted. 

Nurse Rockbottom: I can see that. name and social security number?

Allstar: Uh, my name is -- *pretends to sneeze but Casey covers his snork* thank you, my dear. *but he really sneezes out of his disguise*

Nurse Rockbottom: Why you, you don't belong here! 

Gallio: I thought I heard a snorkitis sneeze.

Nurse Rockbottom: Now, now, Gallio, you should really be back in your bunk. 

Allstar: *coughs for real* Uncle Gallio, are you alright?

Gallio: Yes, Allstar, but you don't sound good at all. No, not good at all. 

Allstar: We tried to read your notes, Uncle, but all we got was a bunch of funny looking blue bubbles. 

Casey: That's as far as we got.

Gallio: That's far enough, I've got the rest of the formula, behold! *places it in* The cure! Snorkupples, snorkupples!

Casey: *sneezes* And not a minute too soon. 

Allstar: Snorkland's sick snorks are in critical condition. 

Gallio: Not if this works. *places the cure in both Allstar's and Casey's snorks*

Allstar: Ah, I can breathe.

Casey: Me too.

Gallio: Now we must adminsiter the formula to everyone. 

Nurse Rockbottom: Hey, hold it! Hey, I thought you said you gave up looking for the cure!

Gallio: A Seaworthy never gives up, but I'll need a good nurse to help dispense the formula. 

Nurse Rockbottm:  Why not? There's no one to look after here!

(Go all over Snorkland)

Nurse Rockbottom: This isn't restful, but it's got the fun!

Dimmy: Thanks, Allstar. Thank you, Dr. Gallio. 

Allstar: Uncle Gallio, do we have any serum left?

Gallio: I have enough formula out for our last stop. 

Nurse Rockbottom: Last stop, Governor's mansion!

(Dr. Salt and Junior are bouncing around)

Governor Wetworth: You said 24 hour snork cold, eh, Dr. Salt? I've been boucning off these walls for three days!

Dr. Salt: Call the paramollusks. *sneezes some more*

Gallio: I've never at all seen this much ctivity in the Governor's office. 

Governor Wetworth: Gallio, do something!

Gallio: Round them up, Occy.

(Occy administers the cure to Junior and Dr. Salt, then it cuts to a public meeting)

Governor Wetworth: And in recognition of his contribution during this time of contagious crisis, I want to award Dr. Gallio Snorkland's Metal of Honor.

Junior: Yeah, big deal! We probably would've gotten better any -- *sneezes*

Governor Wetworth: He's got it, snorktitis! Quarantine that child immediately! Take Junior to Restful Reef until he's better!

Junior: But but, dad, i thought I was cured!

Allstar: Is it another case of snorkitis, Uncle Gallio?

Gallio: Of course not, it's just a common 24 hour snork cold. 

Casey: But why are you letting them take Junior away?

Allstar: Yes, why?

Gallio: I thought Nurse Rockbottom could use some commpany for a day, in case she finds Restful Reef a little too restful. 

Junior: But, but I feel much better. Really. 

Nurse Rockbottom: Sure, you do! Now relax! Do you hear me???

(fish shrugs to audience)

(c) 1985 Hanna-Barbera and SEPP International