Taming Of The Snork/Transcript

(Open to what appears to be a trpoical part of the ocean, along with a fancy palace)

Performer: Oh spare us, Princess. Sharif. We're sorry we offended you. 

Sharif: *ties him us* Son of a sea serpant! My father, Sultan Snork, Allivan Shoresheet, will make sure you never work again!

Sultan Shoresheet: Sharif, my delicate desert flower, what's wrong?

Sharif: I didn't liek the way he played music, and I don't like what we're having for dinner, either! *pushes him into soup bowl* 

Sultan Shoresheet: She ruined my palace, not to mention my dinner if I don't tame her temper fast. Hmm, maybe my friend Gallio can help.

(talks to Gallio through computer viewscreen)

Sultan Shoresheet: I wish Princess Sharif was as reliable as your viewscreen, Gallio. 

Gallio: Don;t worry, Sultan Shoresheet, I know jsut the snorks who can teach her the meaning of kindness. 

Sultan: Thank you, my friend.

(at clamburger stand)

Gallio: You're such nice kids. If you befriended Sharif, you could teach her how to get along with other snorks.

Allstar: Oh we'll be happy to help.

Junior: Yeah, provided there's something in it for us. 

Allstar: *takes him away* I'm sure you'll agree, Junior. Goodness is its own reward. 

(now at oasis)

Casey: Oh, your oasisi is beautiful, Sultan Shoresheet.

Sultan: Why thank you, Casey. And now --

Sharif: *she storms in holding up jewelry* I wore this junk last week! I want soem new jewelry right now!

Sultan: Uh, meet my lovely daughter, Princess Sharif.

Tooter: *greets*

Sharif: Can that racket, trumpet lips!

Allstar: He's jsut saying hello.

Sultan: Allstar and his friends have come all the way from Snorkland to meet you, precious. Wouldn't you liek to show them around?

Sharif: Sure, royal daddy. I'll give them a tour of our oasis they'll never forget. 

(crazy rollercoaster ride)

Sharif: Having a swell, time friends? Good. Let's go on anotehr fun ride!


Sharif: How about another fun ride? 

Junior: *on merry go round* Oh, I can't take anymore of this fun!

Allstar: Wouldn't you like to relax a little, Sharif?

Sharif: Aww, seasick already, huh? 

(back at oasis, all pooped)

Sultan: You look tired, my friends. Please sit and have something to eat.

Tooter; *sits on eel*

Casey: *sneezes* Someone's put sneezing powder in my napkin.

Sharif: *laughs* Gee, i wonder who? *sees plate* Yuck! Who dares put this ugly urchin ony my plate? 

Junior: *laughs* Gee, i wonder who?

Sharif: Well, I never! Insulent infadel! 

Allstar: I'm afraid we haven't done Sharif much good, Sultan Shoresheet.

Casey: Yeah, maybe we should go home.

Sultan: But, but, you can't leave now. Sharif must learn to get along with others - if she is to rule her kingdom. is there any way to save my unhappy daughter from herself?

Junior: Sure, if you found someone ten times as nasty who would show Sharif just how mean she really is. 

Allstar: Junior, you're a genuis! If anyone can outbrat Sharif and teach her a lesson, then it's you, Junior! 

(all cheer)

Junior: Nah, find yourself another patsy.

Casey: But Junior, when it comes to being a creep, you're in a class by yourself. 

Junior: Flattery will get you nowhere, but perhaps a week's allowance from each of you will. 

Allstar: *gives him money* Okay, Junior, anything to help Sultan Shoresheet. 

(Casey and Tooter pay up)

Junior: *places icecubes on bed as she naps and laughs* She'll love these ice cubes. *she screams* Rise and shine, Sharif!

Sharif: Son of a slugfish, how dare you dump ice in a princess's bed! 

Junior: Daughter of a dragon-lizard, I'll do anything you please until you learn to act like royalty, sister! *takes off covers, and she falls out of bed* 

(now Casey has on her clothes)

Casey: Oh, Sharif, thank you for giving me one of your herim outfits. 

Sharif: Oh, big deal. I wouldn't be caught dry in that old rag anymore. 

Junior: *takes flower vase and dumps it on her* Oh yeah? Well how about a new rag, like this? 

Sharif: *gasps*

Junior: *takes her to others* Hi, guys! What do you think of Sharif's spiffy new outfit?

Sharif: Nevermind my clothes! *pushes Alsltar and tooter in flowers* That's what I think of your friends.

Junior: Waitch it, princess! Only I can do this to my pals! *pushes them*

Sharif: I've had all I can stand of you, flounder face!

(they chase each other around)

Junior: Well you're no picnic eitehr, you royal rockfish!

(Sharif now on starfish)


Sharif: *opens up stable* How do you like a seahorse stampede?

Junior: Yipes! *runs away* 

Sharif: *laughs*

Junior: So, you wanna horse around, huh? Try this!

Sharif: *sits on pufferfish* You'll pay for this, you cousin of a clam! *throws rock at him*

(more bodily harm to each other)

Junior: Take that, you harpy hearing!

Sharif: And you take that, you creepy curp!

Junior: Tuna twip!

Sharif: Icky eel!

Junior: Hot tempered hornshark!

Sharif: Serrapus salmon!

Junior: Crabby crawdad!

Sharif: Filgy farfish!

(leaving oasis)

Sharif: *cries* Junior, you're hateful! I hate you!

Junior: No you don't, Sharif. You hate yourself becuase now you've seen how you really act. 

Sharif: Junior, you're right! *cries and runs off* 

Junior: Sharif, come back!

(all search for her)

Junior: Maybe I was too rough on her.

Casey: I don't see how anyone can be too hard on Sharif.

Sharif: *cries* I've been such a folly. I'm so ashamed. I'll never take my vail off until I learn to be nice. *twister* What in the whirlpool is that? 

Heffalump: A thousand forts I have for you, my desertile thing! Allow me to present myself, yes? I am Horvar, the wumpalump!

Sharif: Freezing mosnter! Don't you know who you hold in your arms? Oh, I musn't be mean anymore. I mean, won't you please let me go?

Heffalump: Let you, go, not a chance, oh beautious one! You're a princess, and a princess I must have for my bride!

Sharif: HELP! SOMEBODY SAVE ME FROM THIS HORRIBLE -- oh, excuse me, nothing personal -- WUMPALUMP!

Casey: Sounds like it's Sharif.

Tooter: *horns at her*

Junior: Oh, she's been captured by a wumpalump! Oh, I can't bear to watch!

Allstar: Don't worry, guys, I've got a plan.

Heffalump: *caresses her and hears music* Oh, who is playing that romantic desert melody?

Casey: We are.

Sharif: Casey! Allstar!

Allstar: That's right, ma'am, of Allstar's Nomad Wedding Service. 

Heffalump: Wedding service? How opportune! I command you to marry us today.

Casey: Oh, but without a wedding gown for the bride? Oh, how tacky!

Junior: I'll take care of this little social blunder. Pronto! *takes her away then reveals sheet* Here she is, good sir, and she's just chompin' at the bit to become Mrs. Wumpalump.

Heffalump: Well, you may begin.

Allstar: We have gathered here today --

Heffalump: I want it short and sweet. 

Allstar: Do you, Princess Sharif, take the wumpalump for your husband? *sound* And do you, Wumpalump, take Sharif for your wife? 

Heffalump: Does the sun rise on the Sahara? At last, we are one! *holds her up* Cast off your vail, darling, so I can give you a wumpy-lumpy kiss.

Tooter: *pops out of cover*

Heffalump: Oh, sacre-blue! Princess or no princess, there's an old saying - he who's risest loves from afar! And even afar is too close for me! *goes away*

Allstar: Wow, it's a good thing I didn't have time to pronounce you wumalump and wife. 

Tooter: *agrees*

(others laugh, now back at oasis)

Sultan: Thank you all for rescuing my daughter.

Sharif: You must really be my friends to have come looking for me after the way I treated you. From now on, I'll be as kind to otehrs as you were to me.

Junior: *gives her a necklace* Here, Sharif. I used my buddy's allowance to, uh, buy you this locket. 

Sharif: There's even a picture of you inside!

Junior: You see, Sharif, you gave me the fight of my life, and I gotta tell you, I loved every minute of it. And, and I, I love you. 

Sharif: I love you too, Junior. *removes vail* Thanks to you, I can take off my vail. *kisses him*

Allstar: Well, whadda ya know? Sharif tamed Junior. 

(Junior and Sharif cuddle together) 

(c) 1987 Hanna-Barbera and SEPP International

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