The King of Kelp/Transcript

(In an outdoor stadium, the snorks are decorating)

Governor Wetworth: Let's move it, snorks. The Kelp Festival is tomorrow, you know.

Casey: Hurry, Daffney. We gotta finish putting up these streamers.

Daffney: This is all we have left. We need a lot more.

(Tooter toots he'll help out)

Casey: Okay, Tooter, get lots, and hurry back.

(Tooter toots that he's on it, then leaves as the girls continue to decorate)

Marina: That looks fabulous, girls.

Daffney: Auntie Marina, what are you doing here?

Marina: I'm rehearsing my new number for the festival tomorrow. I call it, "Ode to a Kelp Bronde." Would you like to see it? 

Casey: Do we have a choice?

Marina: *gets out a piece of kelp to demonstrate her performance* How sweet the little kelp bronde, with its greenish yure, it waves its head majestically, and makes a tasty stew! Darling this is where I do my show stopping dance step, and a one, and a two -- *Tooter carries the tape but bumps into her at the same time* I see everyone wants to get into the act. 

(Junior then shows up on a machine)

Junior: Hello, everybody!

Daffney: Look, it's Junior!

Casey: Uh oh, what's he up to?

Junior: How do you like my new kelp harvester?

Daffney: Kelp harvester?!

Junior: Yeah, this baby's gonna help me win the kelp picking contest tomorrow. 

Governor Wetworth: Oh, it looks beautiful! You'll be crowned King of Kelp for sure, Junior! 

Willie: King of Kelp!

Junior: And after I get crowned King of Kelp, I get to choose my queen. how about it, Casey?

Casey: Awfully sure of yourself, aren't you Junior? Remember, Allstar is in this contest, too. 

Daffney: Yeah, I'll bet Allstar's machine is better than your's. 

(Allstar happens to arrive on his machine as well)

Junior: HA! He's gonna beat me with that hunk of junk!

Allstar: Hi, gang. I finally finished it. The best kelp picker in all of Snorkland. 

Junior: Are you kiddin? I'll show ya how a real kelp harvester works! Watch this and weep, Allwet! *demosntrates it for them*

Governor Wetworth: Way to go, son!

Willie: Way to go, big brother!

Allstar: Well, he asked for it. *he uses his kelp harvester, proving to be much faster than Junior's* 

Governor Wetworth: Great thundering tuna!

Casey: Show 'em how, Allstar! 

Allstar: How's that for kelp picking?

Junior: *laughs* You surprised me, Allstar! Now it's my turn to cook up a surprise for you!

(At Allstar's later that night...)

Allstar: Thanks, Occy. Now don't let anyone get near it. 

(Occy stands guard of the kelp harvester)

Junior: So, he's having Occy guard that overgrown can opener, huh? Well, we'll jsut have to devise a little sideshow for our eight-legged friend. *laughs* 

(Governor Wetworth is getting fitted for his kelp themed outfit in the meantime)

Governor Wetworth: Oh shoot! Scat! Get away! *surrounded by hungry fish* Does this thing have to be made out of kelp cloth? I feel like fish food!

Mrs. Wetworth:' 'It is the Festival of Kelp, dear. 

Governor Wetworth: Ooh, go on, shoo!

Mrs. Wetworth: Now hold still.

Governor Wetworth: *he's pinched* OOOH, watch where you're sticking those pins!

Mrs. Wetworth: Sorry, dear. 

Governor Wetworth: Oh, between the pins and the fish, I'm gettign eaten alive! *a bigger yellow fish swims inside and makes an attack on him* Yikes! Eaten alive! *wails in fear* 

(Junior and Willie carry a heavy box)

Junior: Be careful with our secret weapon, Willie.

Willie: Weapon! 

Governor Wetworth: GANGWAY!

Junior: Yikes!

(He slips on the rug and runs into all of them)

Governor Wetworth: Is he gone?

Junior: Who? 

Governor Wetworth: Yi -- oh, it's you! 

Junior: Uh, uh, hi dad. 

Governor Wetworth: I've been meaning to talk to you son, why was Allstar's machine faster than your's today?

Junior: Gee, uh, I don't know, dad. 

Governor Wetworth: I shelled out a lot of clams for that kelp harvester, and I expect my son to win. I don't wanna look like a fool. 

Willie: Look like a fool! *laughs*

Junior: Don't worry, dad, the race is in the bag. Or should I say, in the box? *a pair of eyes pop out*  

(Occy still stands guard)

Allstar: Here, boy. *hands a snack to him, and he eats it* I thought I'd bring you a midnight snack. Well, I'll see you in the morning. Don't let anyone near the kelp picker. 

(Occy does so, but is distracted by a pretty purple octopus girl - she lures him into following her)

Junior: That Ocarina really works fast. *laughs* Come on. *he destroys Alsltar's kelp picker* Now for a quick fix on his kelp pecker. *laughs*

Willie: Quick fix!

Junior: Now be very quiet.

Willie: Quiet.

(But Junior steps on a broom, causing Occy to return there) 

(Occy is started and sees nobody there)


(It's now the day of the Kelp Festival, and Casey and Daffney are watching from the audience)

Daffney: Look at all those kelp picking machines, Casey! This'll be the biggest race ever!

Casey: Yeah, but where's Allstar?

(In line, Allstar's Kelp harvester is disfunctioning)

Junior: Sounds like your kelp picker's a little sick, Allwet!

Allstar: Yeah, I don't know what's wrong with it. 

Junior: Maybe the rubber band's broken! *laughs* 

Daffney: Allstar's having trouble with his machine.

Casey: Gee, it worked fine yesterday. 

Willie: *walking around with Ocarina* Come on, Ocarina, we have time to wish big brother good luck!

(Occy sees her and follows her around)

Casey: Looks like Junior's got a new pet. 

(Horns ring)

Mrs. Wetworth: Psst, Wellington, that's your cure.

Governor Wetworth: Is it safe?

Mrs. Wetworth: I think so, dear. Not a fish in sight. 

Governor Wetworth: *stutters* Oh good! With this kelp suit on, I'm walking fish bait. Ladies and gentlesnorks, I -- *fish swim towards him and his outfit, but he hides* Oh, good, they're gone. *but the big fish ltierally eats his outfit whole* Oh no! *he blushes* Uh oh, it's really back here! *walks while holding a clam "down there" - everyone laughs at him in response* Uh, let the race begin. 

(The race begins, but Allstar's machine lags)

Junior: Aww, looks like Allstar's picker's plump-plunekred out. *laughs* 

Allstar: I can't understand it. These levers won't budge. Yipe! Help! I can't stop this thing!

(Occy swims over to help him)

Allstar: That a boy, Occy. Huh? WHOOA! 

(But Allstar crashes)

Casey: Allstar!

Daffney: What happened?

Allstar: If I didn't know better, I think Junior sabotaged my machine!

Casey: Junior's way out in front!

Daffney: Looks like he's gonna win!

Occy: *growls, but enters the race*

Allstar: Occy, what are you doing? 

Daffney: Look at him go!

Junior: What?

Allstar: Occy's gonna win! 

(snorks cheer for him)

Governor Wetworth: Fellow kelp lovers, it gives me great pleasure to announce the winner of the kelp picking contest. With 250 pounds of big kelp, the winner is my son, Junior Wetworth. I now pronounce you King of --

Allstar: Hey, wait a minute! Occy's pile weighs 270 pounds!

Casey: Yeah, he should get the crown!

Governor Wetworth: What? That's ridiculous! We can't crown an octopus King of Kelp!

Junior: Yeah, you can't crown a dumb animal!

(Octarina flips him upside down, revealing all the parts from Allstar's Kelp harvester)

Allstar: Hey look, those are the parts for my kelp-picker!

Junior: *stutters* I, I wonder how those got there?

Casey: Junior, you cheated!

Allstar: Isn't there a stiff penalty for cheating, governor?

Governor Wetworth: *stutters as well* What? Penalty? Oh, now, let's not get excited! *crowns Occy* As I was saying, I now pronounce Occy King of Kelp!

Marina: At harvest time we need your help, so here's to you Great King of Kelp! Long live King Occy!

(Occy chooses Octarina as his queen, and they walk the parade together side by side)

Allstar: Occy couldn't have picked a better queen. 

Daffney: Yeah, they sure look happy.

Casey: Can't say as much for Junior, though.

Junior: *as he drags the yellow drapes behind them* Sheesh, it just doesn't pay to cheat anymore.  

(c) 1984 Hanna-Barbera and SEPP International