The Snorkness Monster/Transcript

(The snorks are on a bus taking a field trip)

Ms. Seabottom: Well here we are, class - in that remote area of Snorkland known as Snorkness.

(Angus McSquid is playing the bagpipe while the kids - and Occy - swim off the bus)

Ms. Seabottom: Now remember, children. Don't wander too far from the bus.

(Allstar and his friends watch Angus McSquid playing)

Junior: What is that guy doing to that octopus?

Casey: It's not an octopus, Junior.

Allstar: It's a musical instrument called a bagpipe.

(Tooter imitates its sounds)

Angus: Good laddy. That be a can bit a tone you be dwelling. 

Junior: I can't understand a word he said. What'd he say? 

Tooter: *translates it for him* 

Junior: Oh. Why am I asking him?

Dimmy: Ms. Seabottom, Daffney and I would like to go shell hunting.

Daffney: We've already found some great ones. 

Casey: And I'd to go off and collect seaweed sample. 

Ms. Seabottom: Alright. But be careful, and don't go into any of the caves at the foot of the highlands. 

Daffney: Why? What's in them?

Angus: Ya didn't wanna know, my wee ones, some say that in those caves where you'll be finding the likes of - the Snorkness Monster.

All: The Snorkness Monster?!

Angus: Ay, a shore as my name is Angus McSquid, it's sure that the monster like the wee youngin's.

(Occy finds bagpipe and growls at it)

Junior: Well if this monster likes kids, what's the problem? 

Angus: Well no one's quite sure how the monster like 'em, except for breakfast, lunch, or dinner. 

Junior: Ah, that's hogwash! There's no such thing as the snorkness monster!

(Occy and bagpipe get stuck) 

Allstar: What's that? 

Junior: It's the monster! Run for your lives!

Casey: Not it's not! It's Occy being chased by that bagpipe! Junior, you're scared. 

Junior: Scared? Who's scared? Like I said, I don't believe in monsters. 

Angus: I'd be careful around those caves if I were you - very careful. 

(Casey tries to find it near caves)

Casey: Dangerous or not, these caves sure are pretty. I wonder  what's inside. Hello? *echo* Snorkness monster, are you in there? *echos* Who am I kidding? junior's right. There's no such thing as a monster. 

(But the Snorkness Mosnter sees her)

Casey: Uh, hello there. *feeds seaweed to her* You, look like you're, you're hungry. *eats it and it licks her* Well, I gotta go now. My friends are waiting. See you. 

(swims away, back to the other as Occy still carries bagpipe with him) 

Casey: Wait'll I tell everybody about this. 

(she gets them to come with her) 

Junior: I think this is preposterous.

Casey: The Snorkness Monster was right here. Yoo hoo, monster! *echo*

Junior: That's no monster, it's just your echo!

Allstar: *noise* That wasn't anybody's echo!

Junior: *runs* Save me, I'm too young to be anybody's lunch! 

Allstar: Wait a minute, I recognize those bagpipes anywhere, it's Occy. 

Junior: What?! Not again!

Casey: What was he doing in there? 

Junior: I'll tell you what - you put him up to this to trick me, that's what. i wasn't scared for a minute. i know a seaweed when I see it. 

(all see pearl)

Casey: It looks like..

Daffney: But it can't be... 

Dimmy: Oh yeah, we found a pearl!

Junior: Correction, Dimwit, I found a pearl, and and this is my souvenir from the land of Snorkness. Wait'll the newspapers get a look at this. I'll be famous!

(Snorkness cries)

(Back in Snorkland, Governor Wetworth gives a speech)

Governor Wetworth: And it is with great pressue - ooh, that is pleasure, that I urge you all to applaud the efforts of my son. For it was his genius, his perception, his keen instincts, --

Allstar: His fright.

Casey: *giggles* 

Governor Wetworth: That made the discovery of this wonderful treasure possible. Ladies and jellyfish, I mean getntlesnorks, I give you, I-I show you, the Wetworth peal! A treasure that all of Snorkland will value forever. 

Angus: But it be a treasure that was stolen. 

Governor Wetworth: What? Who said that?

Angus: Twas me, Angus McSquid. That treasure belongs to the Snorkness Mosnter. I;ve come to take it back to Snorkness. 

Junior: Finders keepers, losers weepers! 

Angus: I'm warning yee! If tt isn't returned, the consequences will be very serious!

Governor Wetworth: I can't understand a word you're saying. What did he say? 

Allstar: Gosh, Angus, what are you doing here?

Angus: It's the monster! It's wailing and moaning over the loss of its treasure! With all the noise, we cannot sleep no more in Snorkness! 

Casey: See, I told you there was a mosnter.

Daffney: It sure sounds like tehre's something going on up there. 

Tooter: *explains*

Allstar: Right, Tooter, we'll take the Silverfish.


(The snorks are on Silverfish)

Casey: It sure was nice of Gallio to lean us his babbletron machine.

Dimmy: What's this thing supposed to do?

Casey: Well, Gallio originally built it to communicate with sea creatures. 

Allstar: And I've added a few improvements. 

Dimmy: You mean this thing really lets you talk to animals? 

Casey: Yes, and it lets them talk back to you. 

Dimmy: Allstar, the caves are dead ahead. 

Daffney: What was that?

Casey: It sounded to me like the monster.

Allstar: We're going in for a closer look.

(Snorkness blows it away)

Casey: Look, it's the Snorkness Mosnter!

Daffney: That mosnter looks pretty mad.

Allstar: Let's get out of here.

Dimmy: Uh oh, it's tracing us.

Allstar: I'll turn around. We'll face that monster.

Casey: What?

Allstar: Standing by with the babbletron machine!

Casey: Standing by! 

Allstar: Okay, Casey, turn it on now!

Casey: *but the machine bounces around* It's not working. 

Allstar: Oh great, and here comes our friend.

Daffney: Can you fix it?

Allstar: I don't know.

Dimmy: Hurry, Allstar. That ugly monster's gaining on us. 

Daffney: Oh dear, what are we gonna do?

Casey: Well, if anybody can do anything about it, it's me. 

Allstar: Casey, no!

(Casey heads over to feed it again)

Casey: Stop! *feeds it seaweed* Remember me? 

Allstar: I don't beleive it. Casey's got that mosnter eating out of her hand.

Daffney: Aww.

Dimmy: What's wrong with this dumb machine? *kicks it* Hey, I fixed it!

Allstar: How'd you learn that?

Dimmy: *smiles* You're not the only mechanical genius, you know. 

Allstar: Uh, hello, fella, we come in peace. 

Nessie: I'm not a fella. My name is Nessie.

Casey: Why nessie, you're a girl, like me. 

Allstar: Why were you making so much noise back there? Was it because we took your pearl?

Nessie: Silly snorks, that was no pearl, that was my egg. 

Casey: An egg?! Oh no!

Nessie: *cries* And I'm so very sad. it was going to hatch any day now. 

Casey: Nessie, as one girl to another, I promise that we'll return your egg to you no matter what. 

(Now at the Wetworth home)

Casey: It doesn't seem to be anybody home.

Daffney: Now what'll we do?

Casey: We've gota get that egg back to Nessie before it hatches

Allstar: Maybe we can find an open window. Come on.

Dimmy: Hey Allstar, what we're doing isn't stealing, is it? 

Allstar: Of course not. We're just returning something that Junior already stole. 

(Tooter leaves)

Casey: Oh no! Every window is shut tight.

Allstar: Well, that's that. We can't just break in. 

(Tooter pops out) 

All: Tooter!

Dimmy: How'd you get inside? 

Tooter: *explains it to them*

Allstar: Oh, the front door was open!

Tooter: *toots yes* 

Casey: We've got to hurry. There isn't much time left before it hatches. *sees it* There it is.

Daffney: Let's take it and get out of here. 

Junior: Ah ha! Caught ya snork handed?

Governor Wetworth: What's going on here? 

Allstar: We can explain, sir. 

Junior: There's nothing to explain here. It's obvious that you all wanted to steal my pearl. 

Casey: But Junior, this isn't a pearl, and we have to return it to its rightful owner.

Junior: I'm its rightful owner! This pearl is mine! Mine, mine, mine!

(egg hatches)

Baby Nessie: *says mama and gets on Junior*

Junior: Quiet, kid, can't you see I'm talking? Yipe! *runs off* 

Baby Nessie: *still says mama*

Junior: Help, a monster! Allstar, Casey, do something! 

Baby Nessie: *still says mama*

Casey: Don't worry, we'll do the right thing. We'll return him to its real mother. 

Allstar: Or would you rather raise him here? 

Governor Wetworth: Oh, take him away! I've had enough trouble raising one monster!

(Casey returns the baby to Nessie) 

Baby Nessie: *says mama to Nessie and they rub each other* 

Casey: *Nessie licks her* Hey, cut it out.

Allstar: What a nice family picture. 

Tooter: *agrees* 

Daffney: *sees Angus crying* Why Angus, you're crying. You're supposed to be happy. 

Angus: Ack, no. Now we do not have a proper monster mystery in Snorkness anymore. I'll miss it.

(Occy and bagpipes again) 

Allstar: Maybe we can loan him Occy. *Occy licks him* You can become famous as the -- Occyness monster!

(c) 1984 Hanna-Barbera and SEPP International